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Nov 21 13 9:25 AM

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As I have mentioned in the KickStarter updates, I'm building a back-end database to handle tracking Backers and product fulfillment. One of the things it does is send out status update emails, and it occurred to me to ask if anyone had suggestions for improvements.Here is a sample of one of the emails:
Thank you for backing the Bubblegum Crisis Ultimate Edition KickStarter.

This email contains your current account information and ordering status.

Account status for backer [Brian Mason]

Recent Account Changes:

* Account created -- please check the information below carefully, in particular the shipping address!
* Product Basic (Basic Set) added to account.
* Deliverable Basic (Basic Set) added to account.
* Product Extra (Additional Copies of the Product) added to account.
* Deliverable Basic (Basic Set) added to account.

Address Information:

   Account Name : [Brian Mason]
    Access Code : [5kyULrCKgt135323] (will be used to vote and order add-ons)

           Name : Brian Mason
        Address : 1 Genom Tower
                : 
           City : MegaTokyo
          State : 
  Zip/Post Code : 2032
        Country : JAPAN
Account Balance : $ 115.00 - Paid: $ 115.00 = Balance: $ 0.00

Products Ordered:

Qty Product                                 ID#        Price        Total  
--- -----------------                     -----      -------      -------  
  1 Basic Set                               139   $    60.00   $    60.00  
  1 Additional Copies of the Product        141   $    55.00   $    55.00  
--- -----------------                     -----      -------      -------  
                                                               $   115.00  

Deliverables:

Qty Product              ID# Status
--- -----------------  ----- -----------
  1 Basic Set            139 Unshipped
  1 Basic Set            141 Unshipped
--- -----------------  ----- -----------

Status Codes: "Unshipped" = Not yet shipped, "Shipping" = In process of being shipped, "Shipped" = Is on it's way!

To remove or change items, or to update other information in your record, please reply to this email and tell me what needs to be done.

Last Edited By: madoverlord Nov 22 13 4:48 AM. Edited 1 time

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#3 [url]

Nov 23 13 9:00 PM

Really the only thing I have to add to this right now (and this is pretty nitpicky) is that I'd make the period at the end of the very first line an exclamation point.

"Thank you for backing the Bubblegum Crisis Ultimate Edition KickStarter!"
Sounds better in my head than:
"Thank you for backing the Bubblegum Crisis Ultimate Edition KickStarter."

But as I said, that's being nitpicky. :p

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#5 [url]

Nov 24 13 6:58 PM

Awww but QC'ing is fun.  You get to whine at the editor that they don't know how to spell and have no business subbing, and then get kicked out.

On second thought, maybe I shouldn't volunteer to QC after all.

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#6 [url]

Nov 24 13 7:29 PM

madoverlordYou're a picky bastard, and as punishment, you must proofread all the subtitles.

I certainly have no objections. :P

Though I'd have to actually go and watch the series first to have context. (Have yet to see it)

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#7 [url]

Nov 25 13 9:33 AM

madoverlord wrote:
You're a picky bastard, and as punishment, you must proofread all the subtitles.


I'd proofread subtitles, no problem. I always pick up grammar errors and spelling mistakes in stuff, to the point of annoyance and obsession on my part.

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#9 [url]

Nov 26 13 5:22 AM

Well then, maybe you could come up with a competing quote for the authoring. :)

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